Drinking Coffee Elsewhere

I read Packer’s title story that was attached to the link on the assignments page. Right away I admired her use of dialog, and how well it flowed with the storyline. She has a personably way of writing that may also be seen as conversational, because I find it fun and enjoyable to read. I like that she uses cuss words every now and then to add into the casual tone that the story has. Her metaphors are humorous, such as when she compares the color of the counsellor’s hair as “a shade of blond I’d seen only on Playboy covers” which I thought gave the story some character.

Her descriptions in characters, especially when they are speaking, is the perfect example of what we were working on in class during the “Mystery Character” blog. For example, when the dean was speaking, she adds in the gestures that the dean made with her hands as a “pink, freckled molehill on her desk.” This gives the reader a sense of the character through attention to detail, without having to blatantly state what kind of person they are. She consistently uses this technique throughout the story, saying things like “she bit her lip” and “I heard a back slump against the wall”. Another style I noticed was the frequent break in paragraphs to emphasize and maybe dramatize the situation or quote she decided to segregate from the prior paragraph. I find this technique intriguing because it draws the reader in and focuses on a specific point in the story.


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